He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Bring me that man meat
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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