we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
