Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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