Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
