I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
