I'm jealous of your bromance
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
