can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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