Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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