He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
