Your dad touched me again.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
