is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize