I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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