The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
