they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So. Much. Porn.
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