Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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