we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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