After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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