Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
