just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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