1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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