D3 body, D1 cock
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
