What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
