I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
