pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
