real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
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