Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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