So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize