Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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