we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
