Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
