No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
