Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
