i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
