Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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