i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I don't deserve a penis
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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