Sponge bath it is.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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