She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
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