He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
