wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize