I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
