they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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