the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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