so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
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I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
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Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...