i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different