Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Liz is crying about burritos again.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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