all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
