when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
