omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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