i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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