Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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