a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
