There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
