8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
How naked do you want me to be?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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