from now on my penis is your penis
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
