Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
