none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize