His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
If I die, sorry about rent.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
