I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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