DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i wish my penis had a tongue
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize