I can text with my tongue
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
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