I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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