and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize