if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
