So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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