just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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